I remember one man I prayed for, and he was extremely wealthy, but he was extremely driven. There was no rest inside him. When we talk with him and interacted with him, we found that he had grown up in a family that was very poor; and he had been embarrassed by the clothes they used to wear to school. So, he made an inner vow: “I will never be poor. I will work and have money.” Now he had money, he couldn’t stop working; and he couldn’t enjoy what he had, because in his own heart he believed he was poor, and he was driven by this inner vow. No matter how much he had, it was never enough. He just had to keep working to get more. So, his family was deeply hurt by this drive in his life. He needed to renounce that inner vow, and release or acknowledge the grief and pain he’d experienced as a child.
Here’s another one – word curses. A word curse is a negative pronouncement over a person. In Proverbs 18:21 – “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”. So, there are two forms of word curses. Firstly, self-cursing; a person speaks words that literally curse themselves. They speak into their own heart words which are negative, destructive. For example, a death-wish: “I just wish I was dead.” Often when people are in pain, they make a death wish. “I wish I was dead. I’d be better off dead.” They come into an agreement with a spirit of death, and it affects their life, and numbs their heart. So, this is an important area to deal with.
You’ll find often when people have been sexually abused, or abandoned in a relationship, or abused in a relationship, they just wish they were dead. So, in a prolonged period of stress and pain, the person may make a death wish. “I wish I was dead.” They may forget they made it, but find that their heart is numbed, and they can’t seem to experience God, or experience relationships.
The person may have just spoken words of failure into their own life. “I’m useless. I’m stupid. I’m never good enough.” Those words become an ungodly belief system in their heart. They’re like bitter judgments. “No one will ever want me. No one would ever accept me. I’m unwanted.” Almost all of these things are quite short, but they form a belief structure in the heart, that demons inhabit and use to torment them. When you believe a lie, spirits of death and hell are able to enter and torment.
Word curses can come from other people, for example, words spoken by your parents or authority figures; school teachers; spiritual leaders. Spiritual leaders have to be quite careful, because you can very easily curse people, by speaking words of failure or negative words over them. So, words of failure, name calling. These kinds of things can be like fiery darts, which go into the person.
Sometimes people grow up and they have humiliating experiences at school. Teacher says: “You’re stupid. You’ll never come to anything. You’ll never pass that. You’re a failure.” Those words, if the person agrees with them, they sit in the heart as a negative belief; and then that belief begins to control their life. So you find when you’re dealing with people, or working with people, you just need to be aware of these kinds of word-curses, or failure-statements, that the person believes.
I prayed for one church leader recently, and her father was part of a big family, and they could only afford to educate one son. He was very smart, but the family could not afford to send him to university. So, he became very bitter because of this. He felt, all his life, that he’d been cheated and robbed. He had one child – a daughter. So, he put a pressure on her to live out his expectations. He wanted her to fulfil his dreams, and so he pressured her all the time academically. No matter what she did, it’s never good enough. Constantly he pressured her. Every time she did anything, he would find fault, and he would scold her, and tell her she could do better. So she grew up lacking love and affirmation; and believed in her heart: “I’ll never be good enough”; and she formed bitter judgements against her father.