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Relationship or Rights

Mike Connell

Page 6 of 10
Okay, so what we see here is pride, can never empathise with people. Pride cannot admit wrong. The hardest thing to say is: I was wrong, I'm sorry. Now a lot of men can't say that, and I'm sorry, but it's a deep root of pride in your heart that stops it. It just chokes, rather than say: I'm sorry. It's the hardest thing, but it's the thing that brings life. We humble ourself when we can say: I am so sorry, I was wrong.

We were at a good marriage course with Bob and Audrey Meisner, and one of the things they got us to do, which was very powerful: hold your wife's hands, and look in her eyes, and say: I'm so sorry, I was wrong; will you forgive me? That was really good for us to do that. We both did it, but I felt something happen as we did, and so God has started a work then, and is just continuing that work. I think that there's a lot that I need to do to put right, but you see pride can never admit that it's wrong, you see. Pride would rather be right, and stand on the rights, than have a heart relationship; so the thing that'll be preventing you from entering into better relationships - there's a number of things. One of them is the wounding in the heart, and the pride that won't actually deal with the darkness; and then the skills needed to actually be able to put the relationships differently.

We hope this year, and pray this year, that God will really shift our church in this area of relationships, really grow in relationship, that the heart of God as a Father will begin to flow in the church. People will begin to be recovered and healed and restored, and begin to learn how to walk in kingdom life, value relationships... So of course pride will always justify, you know: well I'm right, you're wrong, and there it is, that's the end of it. So pride always excuses the fact that it's harsh and condemning and judgemental; so we're not going to be held accountable for what anyone else did, but God will call us to account for what we do, and how we handle the injustices.

So I want you to see, here's the thing. It says, the Bible's making it clear: if you sow judgement, you reap judgement. Now notice what happened to the guy. Look what it says. First of all, it says: his fellow servants saw what he'd done. They were grieved, and told the master; and the master came and said to him: you wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you asked me, begged me. Shouldn't you have compassion on your fellow servant, as I had compassion upon you? Now notice the things there, what the master calls him. Now this is a kingdom parable. He calls him a wicked servant. Can you imagine being part of the family of God, and God calls you wicked? It's almost unthinkable, isn't it? The word wicked doesn't mean intrinsically evil. It means this - having a negative influence in the family; putting a burden and grief and sorrows over the lives of others, that makes their life harder. So when he says: you're a wicked servant, he says: you are making life harder for everyone around you, instead of having received abundance of grace, and releasing grace.

You notice the second thing is, the servants around were grieved. That meant they were saddened, they were burdened. It is true that when someone in the church, someone in our family, walks with unforgiveness in their heart, it is hurtful to everyone around. You know it stops the flow of life. There's invisible walls. No matter how nice you are you can feel the wall, you feel the lack of flow, you feel the lack of the grace flowing. You meet, and it's polite and nice, but there's no flow from the heart, because the heart is walled up. That's not how God intended us to be, living separated and isolated and our hearts walled up. God created us for dynamic and living and heart-felt relationships, but we have to deal with the pride and the offences and stuff that gets in our heart, and grace is meant to do that.