We can actually - and this is the hardest thing is to watch over your words and make them good. I've taken the habit the last couple of years of writing things down, so I try to make sure I do keep good what I do. I mess up every now and then, but I've got to realise, it's really quite important, because God is a God who keeps His word. Our whole Christian faith is based on God keeping His word, so if we're to represent Him, one of the first things we must do with our words is keep them. So that introduces the whole area of making and breaking commitments. People just make them and break them without any thought. Be careful what commitments you make, and once you've made them, keep them. Commitments of what you'll do, get it done. Don't let someone down. Commitments to be there, and be there on time, do it and don't let the person down. Ooh, I had a few bad ones on that one.
We had a few difficulties in our marriage on that one, however we're on the way to a greater level as I have repented and come right. [Laughter] Yes, so it's probably why men don't say too much, because they'll be reminded of it later on [laughs] what they said. Did I say that? I don't remember saying that. Oh well you see, this is one of the things. Men may not speak well, but their wife has got an excellent memory [Laughter] to be able to remind you, a year later, what you said. How do you remember? I can't remember a week ago what I said, however fortunately this is a great teamwork. You say it, she remembers it! [Laughter] It's very, very good, a good arrangement God has made there, the second Holy Spirit.
There we go, so number one [laughs] fulfil your commitments. Okay, here's the second one. The second one is to use words to establish, nurture and protect relationships. Use words in relationship. Again all of these I could give a few things on, but let's keep it really simple. Use words to build relationships. One of the biggest difficulties all marriages and families struggle with is the failure of men to actually speak words that give value, identity, purpose and encouragement to their wife and their children. It's true. Marriages languish for lack of words, like plants languish for lack of water.
Relationships languish for lack of words. They just wither. They wither. Proverbs 15:23, A word spoken in season, how good it is! How good when you get someone encourages at the right time. Proverbs 15:4, A wholesome tongue is a tree of life. It really nurtures people. People hang out for people to encourage them. Ephesians 4:29, Let no corrupt word come out of your mouth, but that which is good to build up, and to encourage, and impart grace, and empower people. Words like that, they're treasures. Anyone who can speak words that impart grace to people, you're never going to lack for friends, never. People will be attracted like a magnet, because it's like their soul is withered, waiting for those kinds of words. You start to speak words anywhere in a street, encouraging people, valuing people, appreciating people, noticing things about them, it's like music. They will respond every time - when it's genuine and authentic, see?
In Ephesians 4:15, speaking the truth in love - so we have to protect relationships by speaking the truth and confronting, so relationships are shaped, framed, nurtured by words. Come on now, you were designed for this, and I can tell you now, I've prayed for enough people in the church. I've prayed for many young people, and they're withering for lack of words. Here they are in their teenage years, seeking direction and affirmation and help as they go through all these strange things happening in their body, and pressures from around them, and uncertainties about the future. To be silent then, is a crime against them. That's the time to speak in, and give direction, and be courageous, and if they fuss and yell and say you've ruined their life, don't take it personally. I've ruined all of my kid's lives at some time [Laughter] by saying "No!" [laughs] I can still remember a door slamming - You've ruined my life! You've ruined my life! Very dramatic. [Laughter] All I'd done was to ring up and ensure they were in the right place, the place they were supposed to be, and then gone and seen the people, and drawn them all to account for why they weren't there, and why they'd let them go when they - yeah, all that kind of stuff, you know?