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You Always Have a Choice (2 of 3)

Mike Connell

Page 4 of 10
So you hear things: well I prayed and nothing happened. Heard that one? I prayed and nothing happened, limiting thinking, so you feel helpless. I prayed - well the pastor told me to pray, and I prayed, and nothing happened. The old feelings of helplessness come up again, so what happens is, you have a whole lot of new experiences, and the new experiences just surface your old junk, so God can help you deal with it. So you've got to have some new experiences, so you get people, and you hear statements like this. I wonder if you've heard any statements like this, and I want you to listen within the statement, what the person is saying, because you've probably heard someone say something like this: no one told me. Oh I tried to talk to my husband, but he wouldn't listen. I tried counselling, that didn't work. I'm just having a bad day. What's the person saying? They're saying: I refuse to be responsible for my negative attitudes, and my bad emotions. I'm blaming it on: the bad day, and you can't hold me responsible for a bad day. When I got up, I thought it'd be a good day, turned out it was a bad day, and so that's why I'm like I am. I'm having a bad day!

Have you heard that? It's called being irresponsible. That's what it really is. I hear Christians do that. It's just actually not owning responsibility for your emotions and your behaviours. How can you have a victory, how can you walk in dominion, if you won't take ownership? You always have a choice what you do, in a bad day. I mean we all talk about our bad days. How about this one: I talked to him, he wouldn't listen. So what's the thing: [groan], what can I do? I talked to my husband, he wouldn't listen, what can I do? You know - I tried counselling, it didn't work, what can I do? Can you feel the helplessness that comes up, and then: it's not my fault, someone else has got to fix it. Here's another good one: I tried to get a date, but there's no good ones out there. [Laughter] You've heard that one? I'd like to get married, but there's no good men in the church. [Laughter] Now can you hear what the person's saying? Where is the responsibility for their not being married? Where does it lie? Well it's the church, obviously hasn't got good men in it. [Laughter] I can't do anything about that, it's Pastor Mike's problem, he should solve that one. [Laughter] Or, we're in a country area, so there's no good men around here. So now where's the responsibility? Well it's out there, it's a country area. Well shift to the city - shift to the city. Wasn't it amazing, I didn't get anyone there either.

Because what happens is, people put responsibility for their problems, their dilemmas, their situations, outside themselves. They blame the circumstances - it was a bad day, or they blame people - oh it was my father, my mother, the Pakeha, it was my background, it was someone abused me, someone blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and it was someone else. Therefore it's not my fault, and I can be helpless. Please feel sorry for me, and I think I'll come up at the end, and you can pray for me. [Laughter] Come on. Sometimes the church plays into the game - oh well, we'll just pray for you. Now where's the responsibility lie there? I've got to pray prayers, to get your problem solved? [Laughs] I don't think so. [Laughter] You've got the problem. It'll always be your problem. You've got to take responsibility, and grow up, and face it. Isn't that what happens? You've all got so quiet today.

How about this one here, you've probably heard this one. I wrote it down because I thought this one: I prayed, and I'm waiting for God to provide. Well bully for you! [Laughter] But what are you going to do in the meantime? Aye? You going to go out and get a job? No, I've prayed, I'm waiting for God to provide. Or I'm trusting the script - the Lord says: He'll provide, so I'm waiting for the Lord to provide. So yeah, what are you doing? Well I'm sitting by the phone every day waiting for the phone to ring, someone will come, someone will ring me. No, no, no, you're just being stupid and irresponsible. Actually totally irresponsible, and what you're doing is: covering irresponsibility, with some super-spirituality. It's not actually getting ownership. Have a think about the person who says: I can't get any dates, can't get a man, because there's no good men in the church; what they're saying is: I've got no power over that. I have no choice, it's outside my power, I'm helpless. Got the idea? But what choices would such a person have? Well they could ask: do I have some glitches in my personality, that turn people off, I need some honest feedback? Am I meeting people? Am I putting myself into places where I'll meet people? Have I limited my selection of people, and I'm waiting for just Jesus to return? Well some people are, they're just waiting for Jesus. They've got no idea men actually aren't like Jesus, they're very like you, very full of sin and issues and problems, and they need to be journeyed into growth, just like everyone else. You don't find the perfect man - like they said in that TV ad: good on ya mate, she's a hard road to find the perfect woman. [Laughter]