For example, if you had in your heart these firmly rooted beliefs, that have been there for years: ‘I'm not good enough’; ‘I'm a failure’, or ‘I fail’; ‘I never get anything right’; or ‘people will laugh at me if I make a mistake’ - if you've got those beliefs in your heart, then the moment you're put in a situation like this, where you're in front of someone, and vulnerable, and you're wanting to reach into your heart to get something - all of that stuff bubbles up; it comes up and creates turmoil around you.
If you've had turmoil, those are like flows of energy, destructive energy - that frustrate you moving to do what you really want to do. Now the first thing is, just face that that's what it is, and explore it - that's where I'm at right now. Don't condemn yourself - that's just where I happen to be.
If a person's got a broken leg and they're hobbling along, you don't mock them, ridicule them, or push them, because they're hobbling along. They're just hobbling along, they're doing the best they can you know - it's hard to walk along if you’ve got a broken leg. If you have got a broken leg in your soul, your emotions or somewhere, and you're hobbling along - that's just where you happen to be right now - but it doesn't mean you have to stay there. You could engage the journey with God, of resolving those conflicts and shifting your belief systems. This would then change and bring freedom - and you're no longer hobbling along, you're a lot freer on the inside.
The ministry of Jesus, Luke 4:18:
1) I've come to preach the gospel to the poor. I come to reconcile people, and build relationship with the Father;
2) To heal the broken-hearted. He came to restore intimacy, and the capacity to be intimate, which is damaged in life's relationships, when we have trauma.
3) He's come to proclaim deliverance to the captives; or, deliverance to set you free of the things that restrict you from intimacy, connection, relationship, and connection specifically with God.
4) To open the eyes of the blind; or literally: to ‘put vision in your life’ - so that you can see what you're called to do, and escape from the prison of having no dreams, visions or future. To lift off us, the crushing loads of: guilt and blame and burdens - all this stuff that we've carried like junk, that stop us going forward. That's the ministry of Jesus - to bring us into the destiny He has for us.
So wherever you are right now, it's okay - but don't stay there. Determine to grow, so if there are blocks that come to the surface during these times, of these opportunities to do activations - take note of what they were; and what you think they've originated in.
Start to pray into them, that God would bring them to the surface, help you see them; and then explore getting some help - whether it be counselling, or a course, or something that will help shift the blocks. They're only there if you let them stay there. It just happened that that's where you are.
There were some choices you've made; but you know when someone's hurt, and they've got no one to turn to, they just do what they can to save themselves. Now that you're an adult, you don't need to save yourself - you can let Jesus save you, by opening that part of your life, surrendering control, and letting Him help you in the inner journey.
Unfortunately, many people won't do it, because there's pain in it - it's uncomfortable. But you've got to see: the other side of it is: the victory; a changed life; flowing with the Holy Ghost. It is worth it to get your future back again.
If you're operating at this level - you could operate at that level. What would it take to shift you up there? What would you have to grow in? What would need to shift in your life? That's what you're going to work on.
Now for me, I was challenged by a message someone spoke one day, Pastor Clark Taylor; and he said: “if you knew that there was one issue in your life that was hindering your life, wouldn't it be worthwhile investing, even if it was six months, in dealing with that issue, knowing that all the rest of your life, you would live life at a different level?”
I thought: that's me! So I went home, and I recognised that what I was wrestling with was: rejection, and fear of rejection, self pity and unbelief. These things were sitting around my life - and they were spirits pushing on me, working in the brokenness in my heart.
I made a decision that I'm going to fight this thing. I got into prayer and fasting, and every day decreed victory over these spirits, every day declared to the spirit world that I was broken out of this thing - it had no power any more, I'm free of it. Then I would spend the rest of the time releasing forgiveness where I felt I needed to, blessing people that had hurt me; then most of the rest of the time in: meditating that ‘God is with me’.