But you see instead of that, we find someone to talk to, and download. Now once you start downloading, that's when you are now spreading offence. You are laying a trap that will stumble someone. They don't even know it. They don't even see it coming. How many of you have talked with someone, and they downloaded some of their stuff, and then afterwards you felt quite stirred and agitated, and no peace afterwards? It's very common isn't it, and if they were talking about someone else, the next time you saw them, you can't even look at them. Something has happened; so this is what is the hidden agenda, and I want you have a look at this verse here: Proverbs 26:24. We'll read it out in Verse 22: The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles. Ooh yes, tell me more! I need to know! And they go right down into the rooms of the belly, right down and affect your spirit. So then it says, verse 24: he who hates, disguises it with his lips, and lays up deceit within himself; when he speaks kindly, do not believe him, for there are seven abominations in his heart. Though his hatred is covered by deceit, his wickedness will be revealed before the assembly. Now what he's really saying, is something like this. He's saying that when people have got offences in their heart, and hatred in their heart, and around it, they will cover it with nice talk, but it will flow out anyway.
You can't stop what's in your heart flowing out. It just naturally flows out, out of the heart we speak. So what happens is, we're speaking blessing, or we're speaking cursing; we're speaking words that build and edify, or we're speaking words that tear down. We have to make choices around these kinds of things. Now here's the thing. When a person does this to you, and you sit down and give them a good old listening ear, then this is what happens. They have got a hidden agenda around it. This is the agenda: I want to draw you in to what's happening in my life, because I want you to come into agreement with me. I want you to agree that I'm okay feeling this way, so angry about what was done to me. I want you to agree with my feelings, and feel my feelings. I want you to feel angry too. I want you to feel upset too. I want you to feel stirred up. I want you to agree with me, that I am right, that I am fully vindicated in having this thing sitting in my heart. I want you to agree with me - yeah, oh, it's terrible. I want you to agree.
Why do I want you to agree? Because I've got no peace in my heart, and I need you to tell me that's okay to hold this thing there, because the Holy Ghost is telling me: it's not right to hold it there. I want you to tell me: it's okay; so I want you to just agree with me. I want to draw you onto my side; and if I draw you onto my side, then I've now divided you from that person you once knew, and were relating quite perfectly well with. I've now created division. Offences created divisions in relationships. Offences in marriage divide the marriage; offences in families divide the family; offences in churches divide the church. This is a spiritual principle. You have to deal with it, because there's a fruit of it. Now what I want you to do is, I want you to tell me I'm okay to think that way. I want you to agree with me.
Now you don't have to say anything, you just have to listen and say nothing; and there's the problem. Now there's a way to deal with this thing. Here's the dilemma. We all want to help people, and so people have got pain in their life. Now if you're going to help a person who's got pain in their life, you've got to make sure you are aware of the possibility of being defiled by an offence; so you've got to be aware that they will present their side of the case. I'll give you two verses on it, there's good Biblical wisdom about this situation. When you sit down to help someone, you listen to them, and all of their pain. Now I have been caught by this one, over and over and over; listened to them because I cared, listen to them to find out and help them have understanding; and then forgot that actually by not saying something, I was ending up agreeing with it - and I didn't agree with it at all. I had to learn that one, and keep learning it. It's easy to be trapped into. I found it easy, if you listen to people intently to find what's in their heart, it's very easy to end up being in agreement with what the problem is, or not speaking, and then they feel you're in agreement with them. Silence means agreement; so yes, it's great to listen, but there are two scriptures you need to keep in mind, whenever that person is talking to you. They're found in Proverbs again. the first one is Proverbs 18:17. The first one to plead his cause seems right - the first one. So in other words, the first one comes and gives you all their story. Oh, that was a dreadful thing that happened, so before you know it, you're all wound up and stirred up; but it says: it's when the other person comes, you hear the other side of the story.