So the other thing that a victim has is a rescuer. They must have a rescuer. Someone has to come and help me out of this mess. I need you to come through, won't you help me? Then when I've manipulated you into helping me, then I turn to someone else who'll meet the next level of need. So what happens is relationships become extremely unhealthy. Victims cannot develop an emotional closeness with anyone, and this of course - you'll have a look in this thing tonight - is one of the key things. There's no possibility that relationship could work. It's doomed from the start, because of the nature of it - so victims, it's easier to play a victim than to be responsible, so here's some simple steps to get out of it.
So I want to share with you some simple keys, and it's a journey. I wish I could just say we could get you up in an altar call and pray, we could fix it all up. It would be wonderful if we could do it. We can pray and break some things over your life. We can pray and impart some things into your life. We can lay hands and let you experience the flow of God's love, but essentially the journey out of victim-hood, is a journey of opening your heart to become vulnerable, and to experience God's love, and to change. It's a path of being vulnerable, instead of building walls. The evidence that you have passed from death to life, is in your capacity to love, and celebrate, and embrace people. Any time you draw back from people, your love is growing cold. The issue is one of love. Oh, well you don't understand what they did. No, no, no, no, actually I'm not worried about what they did. The issue is your love is growing cold. Take ownership what's happening in you, as you are isolating and withdrawing.
Okay, let's give you a few simple steps. The first thing is to become aware of the pattern, become aware of the pattern. If we're not aware of the pattern - so here's a few things you could think about. Here's a few questions you could ask yourself, and just as I go through these things I know you'll think of someone who's just like this, and they really need help. Actually you'd be the one to help them. You could become their rescuer, then when you don't come through for them, they'll turn on you, see? We have to - actually Jesus is the only saviour. He is the only saviour. He's the only one who can save people, so we have to lead people to Him, because in Him they find the love of God. In Him they find healing. In Him they find deliverance, in Him they find all they need - not enough, so we can give a little bit. Okay, here it is: number one, become aware of the thinking patterns, so let me ask you a few questions. Just tick these off, just perhaps it might be you.
Do you have patterns in your relationships where they turn and go ugly? Do you have a history of hurting people, or being hurt yourself? I'm hurt, I seem to get so hurt in relationships - ooh oh, you've got a problem inside you. Okay then - do you blame yourself, or blame others? Do you find you've got a blame thing going on in your life? That usually means a victim mentality. Do you find you're often frustrated, angry, resentful? You've probably got a victim mentality, and are not recognising you're operating out of: I'm powerless, I have no choices, when you really do. Do you feel smothered, or have you felt smothered and unimportant in your family life? Usually what that means is, you bury your feelings, bury your opinions, bury your desires, and you just do what you're told, and inside you believe you're powerless. It follows you all through life - it's one of the biggest things I've had to come to face.