Breaking Free of Shame (4 of 6)

Mike Connell

Page 9 of 9
There's many reactions. Whatever reaction you've made, just repent of it and bring it to the cross. We need to do that so we can move on, so here's where we get out of shame, four steps out of it. We've given you two today: the first, I need to personally come to Christ, who carried my shame. He understands my shame. He's carried it. I can come and talk about it to Him, and bring it to Him. Secondly, I need to separate or break the attachments to people or things that caused me shame. I just need to get the mask off and be honest with Him, face the emotions that are there, and grieve over them, release them to the Lord. I need to get rid of the reactions that are inside me, and make a decision, I'm going to stand up now, and begin to change the way I view myself, the way I view God, and the way I live my life. It's an important decision for us to make.

I think there are many people here sitting on stuff - why don't we just close our eyes, and bow our heads right now. This is a time for you to make a step. Some powerful things can happen in an altar call. Altar call is where you make a decision that you've come into agreement with God, you've heard His word, and you are agreeing with God. Change is a must. You're saying to yourself: I'm not going to hold onto this stuff. Maybe you're ashamed of failure, maybe a family broke down, maybe a parent died, maybe someone abused you verbally, someone abused you sexually. Maybe you were humiliated in school, humiliated by teachers. Remember I was chosen here, a local high school, grew up here, and I was chosen to speak and represent the school at a speech contest. So I had the speech all ready and all prepared, all memorised, and I remember going into the - it was over in Napier, and they had all the inter-schools, everyone was there, parents were there, everyone was there. I got a good number, I was up number three. I thought that's quite good, not number one, number three - so I got up there all prepared to really do my best.

When I stood up there, I got started into this speech, and I was starting to get going on it, and then suddenly it began to rain, and it didn't just rain, it really pounded down on an iron roof. There was just this loud noise, and it distracted my attention, and I froze, and forgot everything. I can remember to this day the pain and the shame, of standing in front of everyone, representing our own school, and I got a mind blank. I got prompted, and I got through it, but the feeling of that time didn't leave me. Years later when I become a Pastor, I would have to have everything written out. I was still living in the shame of such a defeat publicly, and for a long time I had everything written out, could never take a meeting or enter any meeting, if I didn't have everything written out. I was gripped by the fear this would happen to me again. It was just a teenage experience of shame, that brought fear, and then attempts to control and protect myself.

I had to make a decision at one point to face that, to let it go, and to begin to trust God. So the Lord put me with children, so I could get experience and success, without that fear around me, and then I was able to come and stand at a platform and preach. I can do it now without any notes, without any reference to notes. I have only the barest of notes most of the time. I don't need them, because I've tapped into the One who loves me, and said: I'll be with you, I'll give you things to say.