Many times people put labels on others so they don't actually have to connect personally with them and find out who they really are. Sometimes we get labelled and then can't live down our label. I'll give you some other examples. Another way that we get identified with is a common one among men; what do you do? Oh, he's a plumber, he's a this, he's a that, and so our identity is tied to our work. So men go through a traumatic experience when they lose their job because their identity is gone. If it's found in the job, when you lose the job then you lose your identity. For some people their identity is found in their social standing, their positioning in society; well what are you? I'm a leader. What are you? Well I'm a city councillor. What are you? I'm a this, I'm a that, and we identify who we are by position or status we have. The trouble with doing that is the moment you lose the position who are you?
So people like that come into the church and they want to have a position in the church; I want to be a leader. I want to be a this, I want to be a that, but then if you take them out of that role because it's time for change or they don't fit the role, they get upset because their identity was in the role. For some women their identity is in their children, ah, so you say anything about the child mum just has a hissy fit because she doesn't see you talking about the child. She sees you attacking her personally because her identity is in the child. She hasn't got a life of her own; she's living it through the children, so you know what happens? She lives her life through the children, the marriage diminishes, comes time the children leave home, marriage is nothing there. It's empty, been empty for years because the identity was tied up in the children. Children go, children do something the mum doesn't want, her life falls apart.
Our identity is not to be tied up with our children. We need to know who we are. We need to be secure in who we are. Sometimes our identity is tied to past experiences, especially if they're bad. So you'd hear someone say I'm a failure. How can you be a failure? People fail, but you can't be a failure. You're a human being - but you see people identify the painful experience and then they take that painful experience and they say I am a failure. No, you failed. Have you learnt from your failure so you succeed in the future? But you are not a failure. Your identity is not 'failure'. You understand? So these are the kinds of pressures we have around us and without us even really thinking about it, they shape the way we see ourself. For some their identity's totally tied up around their gender and they've been rejected as a woman, then they have this huge woman issue - or as a male or whatever.
Often these things are tied up around things that God does not want them to be tied to. The Bible says in Christ there's neither male nor female, so when God looks at you He doesn't look at man or woman; He sees a person, a human being. He sees them of equal value, totally equal value. The Bible says in Christ there's neither Jew nor Greek, so God doesn't look and see well that's an Aussie, that's a kiwi; He just sees there's a person. He doesn't see things the way we see them and our problem is we see them a certain way and it affects how we live our life. So if you've lived your life with tremendous hurts or experiences, painful experiences, then it shapes who you see yourself as being. So for example how many people were called names, nicknamed when you were at school or when you were younger? How many of those nicknames were pretty derogatory? They weren't exactly honouring and wonderful?
I can remember them. There's pain in it, but I'm not that! But you see people put a label on you so they can define your identity. Now God does not want your identity to be defined by the world, your circumstances, your family, your tribe or nation, the culture you come from. He wants to define who you are, because He's made you for a unique purpose for example - and I'll touch this, then we'll get into this and have a look at this. I'll do something on this to touch out these characteristics a little more, but I want to just touch on this because some people, their identity is that of a victim. It's very common in New Zealand. A victim is a person who at some time was hurt or abused or badly treated, and they were powerless or unable to stop this thing happening to them. That's what makes them a victim. A victim is a person who had a painful or bad experience that they could not stop happening to them.