So 1) be thankful you're alive; 2) realise that they were a part of simple humanity; 3) give up the urge to take vengeance, and to judge.
4) Realise that they were wounded too. That whatever they were doing, was out of some holes in their soul - and God collected their tears in a bottle too.
Why is it that most of us, we want: mercy for ourselves; but just justice for everybody else? Don't we do that? Like when we stuff something up, we go to the foot of the cross, and we say: God forgive me. God, forgive me. God, have mercy. God, have mercy. God, have mercy - but someone else screws up, and we go: God, get them! We want mercy for ourselves, but justice for everybody else - but it doesn't work that way.
James 2 – “judgement without mercy will be shown to every person who's not merciful - for mercy triumphs over justice”. Choose mercy. Remember how much you've been forgiven, and do likewise to other people; and also realise this: that they were given the same choice you were. They had a choice.
At some point they had a choice: I will perpetuate godliness; or I will perpetuate destruction; and unfortunately maybe they chose destruction. If they chose destruction, I'm so sorry; but your choice today is to stand up and say: as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. I will not make my children go through that - and I'm telling you, four generations from now, you'll be the hero.
The last thing, in terms of how to deal with the wounds of it, is this, is realise how big it is - that our survival as a society depends on it. It says that “your days will be long in the land”. That anger, contempt, malice, and slander - as it goes through the generations, it multiplies. It multiplies to the point where you've got people in this world today, who are destroying one another, and don't know why. They just know they're supposed to, just because mum and dad did it. That's all they know, and it perpetuates through generations.
As I understand it, God has a five-generation limit. His grace goes to three and four generations; but by the fifth generation, He'll destroy the whole generation, if they don't repent. Why? Because in generations, you're multiplying geometrically.
2 people have 6 kids; those people have 6 kids, and now you've got 36 kids. 36 kids have 6 kids... (6 - 36 – 216 - 1,296 - 7,776) You're left with a bunch of people that, if that infection, that distain, that bitterness, that malice, that resentment, that rage - if it gets into the fifth generation, there are enough people to destroy the entire fabric of a society.
God says: by my Grace, not my Judgement - by my grace I will judge; because it's gracious to save a whole society, by wiping out one generation. It's gracious, so our survival as a society depends on it. It depends on you and me making and maintaining a decision to perpetuate godliness in the next generation. It's about me and you perpetuating that thing all the way through.
Are you breaking the cycle, or are you perpetuating it? What cycle are you perpetuating; and what cycle are you breaking?
We need to say: what parts of my family were godly? And maybe sit down with your wife, and talk about: what habits did we learn? What habits did we learn from our home lives that are healthy, that we need to perpetuate (and make a commitment to do so).
Without any dishonour, with all due respect, what parts of our family did we learn that are dysfunctional, and it's destructive, and it's ungodly? Maybe you need to make a rule: there's no yelling in the house. Maybe you need to make a rule, like: I will not address my husband with obscenities. The lady that addressed her husband with obscenities - her seven year old granddaughter was sitting right there. What are the chances that that seven year old granddaughter is going to grow up calling her husband obscene names? Huge! Why? Because her grandmamma did it, and her mama does it. It just perpetuates all the way through generations.