Maybe it takes some person sitting down and going: we will not tolerate that any more. We will be a house that is compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiveness. What cycle are you perpetuating? What needs to be broken? That is honour.
Ephesians 6:1 – “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honour your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long in the earth. But fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath.”
“Do not provoke your children to wrath. If you want to get a sense of whether you're perpetuating ungodliness or perpetuating godliness, you need to understand whether or not you're provoking your children to wrath. If you're a man, and you're a dad, what I'm fixing to tell you, will require more bravery on your part, and more courage, than you can possibly imagine.
If you want to know whether or not you're perpetuating your children to wrath - ask them. Ask them!
Let me tell you something my dad did, that I honour him for. It was the best idea I've ever heard of any dad doing. My dad would be one of the most courageous men I know, because he did this. Every 30 days, my dad took me on a date, probably starting at about seven years old. Once I turned 12, I asked him to please quit calling it a date, because it was bothering me. So we had a man's night, but this was the rule. Now how courageous is this?
My dad said: Shane, on those nights, you can tell me anything you want to tell me. As long as you say it respectfully, you will not be in trouble; so it gave me an environment to where I could sit down with him and respectfully say: dad, two weeks ago you punished me for this, and you were wrong. You did not understand what was going on, and he could say: Shane, tell me about that. I could say: dad, you didn't understand. Dad, you overreacted to this. I felt like you overreacted to this – and we'd talk it out.
There were a lot of times that my dad sat across the table from me and said: Shane, I didn't understand that. Please forgive me for overreacting; and there were times where he looked across and said: Shane, you're a child. I'm an adult. I know you don't understand now, but one day you'll understand - the environment was there, so that I could be open and honest with dad.
Dad did that, so that my anger with him could never go past 30 days - that's brave, but that'll shut down “provoking your children to wrath”, because option #1 is: your children will learn they can be honest with you; option #2 is: that they can't be honest with you, and then you've got a whole new set of problems.
Parents are supposed to be the pictures of what God would look like, to your child. If I was to ask your child: based on how mummy acts, what is God like? What would that child say? Would that child say: God must be an angry, worried mess? Does God's left eye twitch uncontrollably? You know when we go to the grocery store; and mummy gets really mad at the cashier. Mummy says she's the slowest cashier in the store. How would your child say that God would act to the girl at KFC, when they mess up the order?
How are you presenting God to your children? Are you breaking a cycle or are you perpetuating something? What are you perpetuating? How do your children see God? Do they hear you and your husband, do they hear mummy and daddy talking about: hey, we need to take care of the poor this month. We need to make sure we feed someone who can't feed themselves. We need to make sure we clothe someone who can't clothe themselves; or do they simply see you raise your hand in here, and then hear you yell at each other at home - and you're teaching them that God's a hypocrite.
I challenge you today, as people of God, to increase your amount of time in God's Promised Land for you; by perpetuating godliness, and by honouring your father and your mother.
Closing PrayerNow Lord, You're the best. We love you, and we honour you; and we proclaim that you are King of the Universe.