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Headship and Responsibility (2 of 5)

Mike Connell

Why is the man the head of the woman? Well God created it to be that way, it's an order. Is he more important? No, he's not more important. Is he more gifted? No, he's probably less gifted in some areas; but in the area of being the head, or the leader of the home, God has uniquely called him to be that. Did you realise that, that when a father comes down the aisle with his daughter, that it symbolises that he is the covering, the authority, the protector of her. Now he hands he,r or gives her hand - who gives this woman in marriage? I give her hand in marriage. What is the father doing? The father is giving his authority, his role, his positioning that God gave him over his daughter, over to another man. What does that other man do? He takes the hand in marriage. Why is he taking the hand in marriage? He's assuming responsibility to be the leader, God's head over a completely new unit; so God says: you've got to leave your home, and you cleave to your wife, and you love her, and you lead her as Christ loved, and has given leadership to the church.

That's God's plan, and that's the symbolism that's involved, in the father coming down the aisle with his daughter; symbolising that she's still under covering, still under his protection, still under his headship and authority. And he's handing over the daughter, indicates he approves of that man. He gives this relationship his blessing, and now releases his daughter to come under the headship of some other person. Believe me, you need to choose the right one, if you're going to submit to someone else's leadership. It's got nothing to do with feelings. People mistake the feeling of being bonded together. God has put a law in place, that when two people open their hearts, and share intimately with one another, or sexually with one another, that their hearts bond. The feeling of bonding has got nothing to do with whether that's the right one. People make that mistake, young people make that mistake, over and over and over again. Young women, if you are going to marry some man, hold yourself back, and make him earn the right to lead you; and if he won't earn the right to lead you, by loving you, and looking after you, and honouring you, before you ever get to marry him, it certainly won't do it afterwards, absolutely certain. Don't cheapen yourself. Don't sell yourself cheap, because you want to feel good, or because there's a vacancy, or a lack in your life, because of something in the home. Never do that. Find healing and wholeness in Christ, so you can stand up and be a whole person, and let that man prove he's got the gumption in him to be a leader; because I'll tell you something, you will regret it, all the rest of your life. You'll be working hard, trying to change him to be something you hoped he would be, and end up even more frustrated and hurt. You can't do that, so wait. If the guy hasn't proven he's got it before you get married, don't marry him.

You know one of the people that would be the key person to ask what he thinks? That would be your dad. If he doesn't like the guy, there's something wrong. You better liste,n because that's the person God has appointed, as head over you, to give protection to you, spiritual discernment over the whole deal; and if he's very, very unhappy with this, there's probably very good reasons. You've got a good reason to have a double think about what you're doing. It's such a mockery of this whole thing, when a man brings his daughter down, she's been living out of home, and living in a relationship with someone else. To go through this whole - it's hypocrisy. This is not what marriage is about at all. It's about God's plan to bring people into committed covenant relationship, and into divine order; where the husband is the head, and loves her, and he leads her. If a man can't lead you morally before you're married, believe me, he won't lead you morally after you're married either - unless he comes to a great heart change. Ooh, getting all quiet now. This is true, this is how it is.