So the Bible doesn't actually tell you how to do it, He just gives you some principles. I'll give you the principles. Here's some of them, they're very, very simple things. Number one, the man carries the final responsibility. He's got to just actually, be in charge. Someone's got to do it, someone's got to carry the can, carry the buck, and just make sure it gets done; and then be responsible. There's a difference between delegating, where you stay in charge and responsible; and advocating. Now this happens with money - ooh, we get into that in a moment. Let me just give you this in case I forget, and get off track. The one who's most gifted, is the logical one to do the job. A man's got big muscles, why shouldn't he chop the firewood? [Laughter] Why not? Wife out there [laughter] digging the garden. So you've got to work out where it is, and we've got to break through traditions, and just find whatever - whoever's most gifted. Some women are wonderful with resources and finances. The Bible says, that in Proverbs 31: a godly woman, she's very skilful in business, all kinds of things; and some men are not so skilful in that area - but you can't just hand it all over.
Some situations you get, where the man actually doesn't run the finances at all. He doesn't even know what's going on. Don't know what's going on, the wife runs it, she's got the purse. [Laughter] Well you can't have that! Here's your allowance for this week! [Laughter] Believe me, there are some here, who know what I'm talking about. [Laughter] I'm not looking at anyone right now. [Laughter] I dare not. You'll say: ooh ooh! Usually you know after a little while, it manifests. Now this is not right. He is responsible. If she administers it, and facilitates it, that's one thing; but being in control of it, is another. She's actually usurped his role, or he's absconded from his role; either way, it's out of order. He must stay in charge. He must know what's going on, and you get good reports on how it's going. You pray together, you hold the responsibility in your heart, you pray God's wisdom, and you seek counsel, and you work it out. This area's a big deal, so you get two extremes: one is where the man won't give anything to his wife. It's appalling how some men treat their wives, have to give account to everything, treat them like a little kid, what's wrong with you? Give her something to spend, don't ask where it went. She'll figure out what to do with it. [Laughter] You don't have to ask.
You won't have to ask to buy every kind of item of cosmetics and things like that, just give her some, say: that's for you. Don't be mean. Don't be mean. Even if you haven't got a lot, just give something that's hers. You won't believe what it'll do, just to have something that she's got to look after. The other extreme, is where the man just gives out - don't know what's going on. I was like that for a long time. Then one day - it's quite interesting how responsibilities can change - my wife came and handed me the cheque book, and said: it's all yours now. [Laughter] I said: okay, and I did it. That'll lead to another thing in a moment too, how if one person picks up responsibility, it'll create a loss of responsibility, and sense of responsibility, in the other; and here's the danger. See women will mean well, and they'll pick up that, because they feel a sense of responsibility, they'll pick up, and pick up, and pick up. The man becomes more, and more, and more irresponsible, because there's a dynamic inside the marriage.
God's brought you together, and He will do everything, His power sustains the thing; so if one person picks up something beyond what the other has, it causes it to go out of balance; so you find that where a woman starts to pick up responsibility, the man loses his sense of responsibility more, and more, and more, and ends up very childish. Or if the man picks it all up, it leaves the woman feeling very demeaned, as though she has no value in the home; so you've got to work the thing out. It's quite an area to talk out, and to work through, so God doesn't tell us how we're going to do it. He just - these are the principles: one, the man's responsible; two, use the best gifted person; three, team work. Just work to get the job done the best way you can, and that may mean you just alter the roles and things around. We had strict things: the men's work was outside; women's work's in the home! [Laughter] That's how I was raised up, and it didn't work. [Laughs] I don't know where it came from, but there's no example of it in the Bible just like it. It's a very cultural kind of thinking that, and so what you need to do is work out something that works, so sometimes I would do meals, and I would work things, and do cleaning, and do this and do that.