The life Jesus assumes, is when you see darkness, you will come alongside someone with no judgement, no perpetuity - with full commitment to them to help them solve the suffering - and gossip ruins that. It ruins it! When we neglect correction we are on a slippery slope to destruction. You don't have to fall on purpose; you just have to live with no feedback and destruction will be a natural part of your life.
What if there was an environment we could create, where correction was a natural part of life, because everything was so open? Once again AA does this the best. What if we were constantly helping make each other better, without thinking we were better? What would happen if that happened, if we were constantly making each other better, without thinking we were better? How could we begin to create that?
There's one question I want to leave you with tonight: how can you start creating that environment in your own life? Maybe you're here, and no one knows your darkness. I'm telling you, darkness is overcoming you, if no one knows. You need to have three or four people who know everything about you, and are there to bring light to that situation. You need to start personally, then you could look at it corporately. There's so many things that we could do.
Now let me quickly tell you the difference between a sermon and a declaration. A declaration tells you what you already believe - and you should say amen. Jesus loves you... Amen! Right, that's a declaration. It's meant to be agreed with or disagreed with. A sermon is meant to be phrased in the form of a question. It's not meant to be agreed with, or disagreed with - it's meant to be thought about. So any time anybody says: I disagreed with that sermon; well it's not a very good sermon if you can disagree with it. A sermon is just meant to be thought about okay? A declaration is meant to be agreed with or disagreed with okay, so let me give you some thoughts to think about, and I want to challenge you to begin the process of living this way. It will be very important for your life.
Here is the manifesto of a kingdom person. 1) I will talk things out openly and honestly, with observations and not judgements. If you believe that this would be the best thing for your life say amen. [Amen.] This is going to take some work, I mean this is narrow road stuff - most people don't do this. 2) I will be brave enough, to talk it through with the person involved. 3) I will be open to correction myself. 4) I will operate in the disposition of messiah Jesus - the compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love God.
That's the disposition of messiah - that when I talk things out I will be humble and kind. That is the disposition of messiah. Let's keep going. 5) I will give the benefit of the doubt if they sin - there's always an 'if'. Understanding, get all the information first, and I will give them the benefit of the doubt.
Don't assume your husband is evil in his heart, he might not have heard you. Chances are he didn't, especially if you asked him: does the dress make your butt look big. He doesn't know what to say. He'll just keep clicking, okay. Give him the benefit of the doubt. By the way, you like it when people give you the benefit of the doubt, correct? So if you like it when people give you the benefit of the doubt, does it stand to reason people will like it, if you give them the benefit of the doubt? So give people the benefit of the doubt.
6) I will keep it between me and them, without triangulation. It doesn't help to bring somebody in, if the problem can be solved between two people. Let's say it this way: I will have one conversation, instead of five. It's always easier to have one conversation, instead of five. The life Jesus is assuming assumes that with every problem, you can fix it with one conversation, if both people are open.
Lets ask some questions, not to agree or disagree - these are to be processed:
1) What is your initial response to correction? Is it defensiveness or openness? And likely it's never one or the other all the time - it depends on the topic. Some people are open to correction in some areas, and not so open in others; and so it likely depends, but the life Jesus assumes, is that we're open to feedback from good-hearted, genuine people, trying to bring light from darkness.
2) How open are you to the strength of feedback?
3) How many marriages in this room could benefit from a third party asking questions of it? The answer is most. The question is: could yours? And if your marriage could benefit from it, why aren't you doing something about it? You think it's just going to magically get better?