Now this requires three things: 1) it requires someone willing to engage someone else's darkness, with full commitment to help them fix the problem. 2) it requires a person who is open and teachable; and 3) it requires that both of them don't gossip and slander the other behind the other person's back.
Have you ever shared a secret with someone, and then heard it again? How do you feel when that happens? I shared a deep personal pain once, with someone I thought was my good friend, and then three months later I was asked about how I was going - from someone I had not told the problem to. So I asked her: where did you hear this from; and she said: oh, well they told me - they figured that was okay. The truth is, I probably would have told this other person myself, but the fact that they took that liberty violated me.
This life Jesus is talking about requires this: in order to establish the kingdom in your heart, this requires you to be open to being taught, corrected, disciplined; to be open to the feedback of others; to be open to someone else's point of view. You have to be open to that, and it also requires other people to be willing to engage the darkness, with full commitment to make it right. You're not engaging darkness just for darkness sake; you're engaging darkness to bring light to every single situation. It requires those two things, with both people with the heart attitude that we're not going to gossip, we're not going to perpetuate this. We are here to bring light into darkness.
What if we created an environment that was less focussed on fixing everyone, and more focussed on everything being in the light? What would happen to sin, and the power of it? Grace is far more harmful to sin than judgement; because grace lets it all come into the light, and then it loses its power. Judgement punishes sin; and creates an environment of hiding and strongholds, because you have to protect yourself. Grace says: we are all in this struggle together, let's all put our crap on the table, right here in the light; and through whatever level we are allowed to be genuine and expose our darkness, the darkness loses the power, because it's exposed in the light. What would happen then?
Let me say it another way. What would happen if we created an environment where we could confess what we wanted to do, before we actually did it; instead of waiting until we did it to confess our sins? What if we did that? What if we were allowed to mutually engage in each other's darkness to that level? This is where AA is my hero. I find AA so Christ-like in this one area. They create an environment where people can confess the sins they want to commit, even before they commit it, so that the sin loses its power. People who have a friendship circle like that tend to win. They just tend to win.
Let me read this scripture to you, this is Proverbs 25:2. It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; and to search out a matter is the glory of kings. Two thoughts there: it is the glory of God to conceal a matter. When someone hurts you, you are giving glory to God if you keep it to yourself. That is powerful. To search out a matter is the glory of kings. Let's look at this even further: so 1) the life Jesus assumes, is that people are willing to engage the darkness of others, without judgement or perpetuity; 2) that people are willing to flood light into darkness, with the purpose of restoration, and not any other reason; 3) that you investigate the matter.
If you go back and look at the scripture, it says: if your brother sins; 'if' they sin. Circle it a hundred times in your Bible, circle it. IF they sin; it is very important that kingdom people make commitment to search out the matter. In other words, don't go on rumour, or story, or on any version of the truth. Go talk to the only person who could give you the straight story. That people that follow Jesus listen, and that people that follow Jesus are becoming the type of people that listen, when people kindly talk privately about their faults. Jesus followers actually crave this environment, and are willing to commit with the other person to help them solve it, and bring light to that situation, with no fear of their stuff being spread all over the place. Gossip is just terrible.
How about this: if people are willing to listen, and they crave engaging suffering and darkness, in order to make it right. So this requires us to ask a few questions about ourselves. 1) have you ever made poor assumptions about someone; and 2) has your judgement ever changed, when you got more information?