Secondly, he addressed his emotions. David was filled with fear, and he understood the fear that was in his life - the emotion, what he was feeling. Don't try and comfort anyone, until you understand what they're feeling. “You’re not allowed to have feelings - you shouldn't feel that way...”? No, he understood it, so he directed him to the promises of God: you will be king. He drew his attention to what God had spoken to him.
Finally, he made a commitment to stand with him, and walk through the issue with him. That's what biblical comfort looks like.
1) Connect intentionally with the person. David did want to see him. If people don't want to see you, - don't go to them; give them space - some people need some space.
He addressed the emotional area. He understood the emotions. He spoke, and directed David to the word of God - and then made an even stronger commitment to be with him.
We're not called to cure people's problems, or rescue them. Don't think you've got to rescue people, or cure their problems. Just come alongside to care for them and to comfort them.
Luke 24:15 – “Jesus Himself drew near, and went with them”. He's got two of His disciples in distress, the first thing He does is: intentionally comes near to them. Jesus said: hey, can I join you? He walked with him. He didn't try and fix anything straight away, He just walked with him.
Sometimes you've just got to walk with people for a little while - be with them, but don't try and do anything. As you walk and show an interest in people, and connect with them, you get a conversation going about things, and you can start to talk. He said: Hey, I noticed you looking sad. What's up? That's all He did. He just asked him: what's happening? I noticed you're sad. He said: I see you're quite sad, what's happening? What's going on in your life? He identified the feelings, and the pain. You seem to be shut down, drawn back - is there something wrong? Is there any way I can help?
The first aspect of comforting people is to connect with them sensitively, and just walk with them for a little bit. Sometimes a conversation opens up quickly, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes people are ready to talk, sometimes they're not - but you have to come near them, and just stay on the journey with them a little bit. Sometimes it's just: hi, how are you? Just thought to drop this into you, to bless you and to help you - and that's it. Then you come again, and you're on a journey with them. It takes just little encounters to open their heart. Kindness will open people's hearts.
2) Ask Questions - Listen to their heart.
Proverbs 18:13 – “If you answer a matter before you've heard it - it's a folly and a shame for you”.
You can't comfort people if you don't give them a hearing. They may be right, or they may have done something wrong themselves. When you listen to people, you have to realise they only tell you their version of the story. There's another version - and the other version changes the picture completely. Realise that, but you do have to ask people: what's going on? Ask questions to draw out the facts and the feelings behind it - just talk to people, ask about them.
When Adam had sinned, imagine God just turning up in the garden. He must be making a bit of noise, because it says: “he heard the voice of the Lord walking” - so maybe God was singing? No, no, but Adam heard His voice - this is what it says. Genesis 3:9 – “God spoke to him and said: Adam, where are you?” God's got all these cameras everywhere, scanning everything. He can see it all, so why would He ask: where are you? It's a relationship question: Adam, what's up in your life? What's happening?