Jesus did not tell them what He was doing! That is really hard to understand. We can't say that He sinned, that He did something wrong; so we have to conclude there must be more to this passage than we realise...
1) Sometimes God is silent about His plans. How many have experienced a time when God was silent about what He was doing? And He answered things for you, that you really didn't need an answer for; but the thing you really needed an answer for, He didn't talk at all.
That is an experience we have as a Christian. It creates quite some turmoil in our life.
Jesus did not tell them what He was doing. He was actually entering into a new season in His life.
They got in a habit with Him, they would go down to the feast every year; they'd go through whatever they were going to do - six, seven days there. Then they'd travel home, it an annual thing they did, and they were quite familiar with it.
They didn't pick up that Jesus was now entering a new season in His life. He was approaching, at 12 years old, his Bar Mitzvah.
That meant He was moving from: being deemed a child; to where He's now responsible, as a young adult, to obey the law. The obvious thing is: He's going to connect with where He can learn the law.
They were so familiar with how He had been moving; they did not recognise that there was a change about to take place.
This is very true of the church, and very true of our lives. We get so familiar with God; with routines, the way we do things; that we can miss that God is making changes. He doesn't always tell it straight away.
In a marriage, for example, familiarity with one another can lead to a lot of communication breakdowns; and a lot of stress and difficulties.
I thought you were going to do this; but no one spoke. Well I assumed you were going to do that; but no one said anything. So in marriages and relationships, a lot of stress comes when we assume things.
One of the dilemmas we face in life, in relationships, is that: familiarity leads to assumption, or presumptions.
We can be so familiar with God, and with our walk with God, that we assume that we are walking right, that we are doing the things He wants; and it comes as a shock to us when something happens that up heaves our world. It doesn't seem like God gave us any warning, told us about it, talked about it to us at all.
Notice: they just “supposed He was with them”. They got familiar He was a good boy - they didn't have any trouble with Him. The last thing they ever expected was that He would do something they didn't expect, which was stay behind.
Any parent who's had a child stay behind, you've lost them - you understand the stress the parents would feel at this; but see how Jesus handles it.
So familiarity can lead to presumption. Jesus could have spoken to them, and told them - but He did not. He is now emerging from: being a child; to: knowing exactly who He is, and what He's called to do.
He's starting to emerge into adulthood. His ministry hasn't begun, His assignment hasn't begun, but He's definitely come into knowing who He is.
He knows He's the Son of God. He knows He's called into a work; and so the obvious thing is, as a young child now, is to come under tutors and governors, to be prepared for that.
To Him it was very obvious what He should do; so He stays behind.
It doesn't say He just lingered or tarried. The word literally means this, it means: He ‘endured’.
He stayed under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, to remain there behind; and obviously the Holy Spirit had told Him: don't say anything.