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Hasty Words (7 of 12)

Mike Connell

Page 10 of 11
If He says let it go, I can let it go. If He says speak up, I can speak up. If He says put boundaries, I can put boundaries. If He says walk away, I can walk away. In other words, I'm not controlled by the emotion. I'm actually spirit-led, because I've brought the injustice and the feelings of the injustice to the Lord, so it's actually a faith walk, being spirit led. That is the core of dealing with it. Here's a few practical things that will help you, because remember always, that the key under this issue of anger is always ownership and personal rights; I have a right. Just let go your rights, and then you'll be free to be able to actually listen to what God wants you to do. Be a part of the answer, rather than part of the problem.

Here's some simple things. Number one, if you're angry, admit you're feeling angry. You just need to admit it. You've got to admit to yourself you're feeling angry. Second, create some space so that you can just process what you're feeling. Sometimes we just need to withdraw from where we're at. It's provocative, we just feel upset, we know that if we stay there, we're going to be stirred up. Just withdraw, get some space. Say look, I'm a bit emotional right now, and I just need a bit of space. Go and create some space where you can slow down and start to think through what's actually happening. Remember, anger is just the signal I've had a rights or injustice somewhere, and I need to discover it and bring it to the Lord. Okay, slow down. So you let the negative energy out constructively, so maybe if you're really, really wound up go out and chop some wood, go out and run, go out and beat a bag, go out and just do something to let the physical energy go, because when people get angry, they get a huge build up of physical energy in their body, and that's why they just go crazy, and do crazy stuff. So that's a simple thing you could do.

Fourth thing, ask the Holy Spirit to show you what's the root problem, and it may be there's been lots of little things accumulate over a number of days, lots of frustrations, lots of little blocked goals, and instead of dealing with them one at a time, day by day, you just let it all build up, and now here you are, and you're sullen, resentful, black, gloomy, negative, feeling disempowered, angry at the world. Then one thing comes - the cat goes in front of you. Next thing you know, you've kicked the cat, you've yelled at everyone, and it's all on. You think where did that come from! Well it was a long build up aye, okay, so ask the Lord to show you where the root is, try and identify what the root is, and then surrender your rights to the Lord. Just surrender to the Lord, so you can let it go.

Then the final thing is, I've got to look for constructive ways to deal with the issue. I've got to look for constructive ways. A constructive way is to just let it go. A constructive way is to go and confront. A constructive way is to do some kind act. There's lots of constructive ways, but while you're angry, you can't think of one of them. You just want to smash their face, see? That's what goes on. I know you may not think that. Some people are so sweet and nice, they'd never think of that, so what they do, instead of the anger going out, they direct it inwards, they get sick and depressed, and never happy. See, so we need to be able to do that.

If you're facing someone who's very angry, again don't treat anger with anger. You'll just stir up a fire, and you can't get rid of it. The Bible says, a soft answer turns away anger, so if a person's angry, they're really nutting off in front of you, talk to them quietly in a quiet voice. Ask questions, listen to them and try and draw out of them and they'll calm down and be quiet. A second way to deal with an angry person, is to walk away and avoid them, just to actually remove yourself completely from that situation, and withdraw from it. A third way is to, at the appropriate time, talk to them about their anger issue, and start to set some healthy boundaries.