Now why is it a man would come home to his wife and children, and then not be really there? Very simply he's focussed his heart somewhere else; spent hours and hours and hours focussed on work, comes home, he's still engaged in work. It's not hard to shift it. Ever heard the words of that song: I've Left My Heart in San Francisco? It means I've shifted, but my heart is still back there, because I now have not really let go of where I was. My heart is still there.
So what you focus your heart on, that's what your heart will open to, so I just taught men very simply, on your way home, instead of rushing home drive home slowly, consciously let go every worry, every care, everything you've got going on in your life, and begin to then picture your wife, picture your children and begin to hold that in your heart and thank God for them. Begin to imagine what it'll be like to go into the home and be with them all. Your heart will redirect and engage, so our heart turns. It quite moves, and we can embrace or we can let go. A woman who's got an unsaved husband, very easy to let your husband go out of your heart because you see what's wrong, and it constantly becomes a source of irritation, so instead of your heart embracing him and holding him in your heart and releasing the grace of God, instead of that there's a wall which he can feel, and there's no flow into your territory of the grace of God.
The biggest things that cause these blocks in relationships are offences, and then distractions. The life just gets re-focussed somewhere else - oh, we're getting real quiet now. [Laughter] Because it's very true, so I'll give you another example. When you pray for an unsaved husband or family member or whatever, if you are angry with them and disturbed about them and only see what's wrong with them, when you pray for them you won't be holding them in your heart. You'll be holding an offence and judgement in your heart. There'll be no grace released into that territory. You have to actually see them saved, see them before God, see them with the hand of God on their life, see them by faith, and then you can release the life of God into the territory.
So this is a big problem for many people, because offences and judgements call the heart to block out, and then when you pray you're just going through the motions, because your heart is not there loving and embracing them. You can feel it when it's like that. You feel the wall, you feel the block, so what he's saying is very simply - so the thing about your territory is take ownership of it, and welcome it, and welcome it like a friend, not reluctantly I've got to do this. I was talking to one person, and they were having major troubles with their money, and we couldn't work out why because the person knew finances, knew how to manage finances but just couldn't manage his own finances. Then we found out what the real reason was. Now here's the real reason. I could not believe this, and almost it was just amazing, and the person trained in finance and yet when we came to deal with the issue of finances this is what they said, this is what they came out with: my father put all his life into making money, and we never had time with him. I came to the conclusion money is evil, and creates problems for you - and so what he did then, he had no heart to actually operate money, and had no power over it.
So money just went from him like that, until the day he recognised what he'd believed in his heart, he came to a judgement. The problem was not the money, the problem was his father's preoccupation with the money at the expense of the family, and his judgement of his father. When he dealt with that, he was able to get a grip around money, and start to manage and start to have dominion over his money. You have to have it in your heart. You've got to celebrate and welcome the responsibility, before you can do anything much to change it. So think about it; until you actually take responsibility and celebrate whatever is your territory into your heart, you won't do the other things needed. You won't have the power to do it. It's got to be in your heart.
It's the same thing with reaching unsaved people. If they don't get in our heart, then we won't have any effect with them. You've actually got to have your territory in your heart. Jesus held His disciples in His heart. He still holds us in His heart. I've written you on my hand, how can I forget you? God has us in His heart, and so one of the first things is to get something in your heart. Now to get something in your heart, sometimes you've actually got to face that you've got resistance or reaction or judgements or offences, and repent of them and say God, forgive me for not taking responsibility. I repent of that. I come now, I put my arms around and just welcome that responsibility into my life. I thank You, it's something You've given me to cultivate and to govern and I purpose now to do it. I have been irresponsible, I repent and I decide to do it.