Paul said: follow me, as I follow Christ. In other words, if there's a part of his life which is weird, and not following Christ, then don't follow that bit; follow the other bits, that are like Jesus.
When God sets Godly people in the body of Christ, you don't copy everything; just take a look at the Godly aspects, and they're a model for you to copy. There's someone showing you what it could look like, but Jesus is the only one who's got it all together. None of us have got it together. We all need Jesus.
In Romans 8:29 - "For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to become like Jesus Christ, that he might be the first born among many brethren"
God is saying: his plan is to have many, and he wants them to be like Jesus. Therefore, study Jesus, focus on Jesus, pray to Jesus, talk to Jesus, get to know Jesus; and as you make Him your focus, you become like the one you focus your life on.
If you hang out with angry people, after a while, you're angry; and if you hang out with victim people, after a while it's "poor me", and "you're to blame"; but if you hang out with Jesus... Oh That's much better, much, much better. I don't know why you never thought of it before. Hang out with Jesus a lot more. Spend time with him, listen to him, ask him for advice and so on.
God is very clear. His plan is to bring many Children to become like Jesus Christ.
If it's God's plan to conform you to become like Jesus Christ, that means you're not there yet. That means a part of you is out of shape. Some are really out of shape! If you want to get in shape, you have to go someplace where you'll get in shape. So God puts you in a church of family, and he gets you into a relational flow with him, and he wants to get you shaped up to be like Jesus in your character, so you're meek and humble. You've got to not have anger issues and pride issues. God wants you to become like him.
You say: well, that sounds a bit weak and wussy to me? Who's in charge of the earth then? Who's been exalted by God to the highest realm of rulership? The one who was meek and lowly, and was humble and served. Greatness is found in embracing the hard qualities of Jesus. He's the one you want to become like; and in any place you're not like that - that's the place you repent; that's the place you talk to Him, ask for his help and grace to grow.
God has got you in his own growth process, and it's unique to everyone, and the challenges you face are meant to grow you. So when you come up, and you're crying and weeping because of all the stress you're going through, really, God has just put you in a growth situation! I've been there. I get to understand what that's like, but it's because I took my eyes off Jesus. As soon as you get your eyes back on him, you're empowered again to become, and to change.
The problem is friendly fire, isn't it? When the people who are supposed to be on your side are the ones who are shooting at you, that's called friendly fire. That's one of the challenges in the church. The people who are supposed to be on your side start shooting at you, and saying things behind your back... that's called friendly fire, and it's not very friendly at all; but anyway, you gotta get over that as well.
Jesus is preeminent; the Bible calls him: the head over all things. He's the first born. Jesus is being given the place of preeminence, but his goal is to raise up sons and daughters to be just like him. That is the plan. It starts when you receive Jesus Christ.