The third thing he tells us to do, is not to sexually manipulate a brother or sister; and in doing so, defraud them in the relationship. This is a major area of teaching itself – How to conduct relationships, without sexually manipulating someone.
The last thing He says is that: this call to holiness is something God has ordained, not man. So, if we resist this teaching of holiness and purity, we’re resisting God. We’ll look at some insights as we go on this journey. The man we’re looking at, in the story in Luke 4, was in bondage to sexual sin, and needed to be set free; and for that man, deliverance was the key to freedom. After he’d been set free, he still needed to walk in holiness, and he still needed to manage his appetite, and he still needed to conduct his relationships differently.
Now, let’s have a look at God’s design. We need to see how God designed us. Genesis 2:18 – “And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Then, going down a bit further to verse 24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
You notice that the only thing God said was not good was loneliness. In other words, man is created for relationships. We are created with the ability to be intimate; and a need for intimacy - intimacy with God; and intimacy with another person. God has given us the ability to be able to express intimacy in a physical way. Not only that, he has given us the ability to bond.
In other words, when two people are involved sexually, they bond together. In the act of sexual intimacy, there is a chemical released in the brain that causes a bonding, or connecting between one person and the other. As well as that, there’s also an attachment, or a soul-tie formed. Remember, it’s the issue of loneliness that’s resolved by intimacy - intimacy with God; and intimacy with another person. So, God has made us to be able to bond; and sexual intercourse is a key to that bonding taking place. “The two shall be joined, and become one flesh.” So, when people are sexually intimate, there is a bonding together, and the two become one.
Now, let’s have a look in Matthew 19. So, God has given us several abilities – the ability to be intimate, to express that intimacy, to bond with someone else, and the ability to create. We can create things with our mind; we can create things with our body. Two of the great aspects of our sexuality are: the ability to be intimate and bond; and the ability to create another life. Clearly, that requires responsibility. The world tends to exploit all of this, of course.
Let’s have a look in Matthew 19:4 – “And He answered and said to them: Have you not read, that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female’”? So you notice God’s design - male and female. Not male and male; not female and female; but male and female. Verse 5-6: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh.”
You notice that God is talking about His original design. When two people become intimate with one another, intimacy means you become vulnerable. You open a part of your life to others, that’s not normally seen. You can’t be intimate with everyone, it’s not appropriate; it’s damaging to you. So intimacy is developed, it’s a process of building trust, and disclosing ourselves. Intimacy is very important to God. He made us for intimacy. He designed us for very close connections. So, the ability to be intimate makes us vulnerable.
If you open your heart to someone, you reveal something of yourself to them, and now you’ve become vulnerable; they can hurt you. They could reject you, they could betray you. There’s the dilemma: I want to be close; but if I get close, you might hurt me. So, that’s the dilemma. If you hurt me, it’ll make an impact on my life, and make it difficult for me to be intimate again. You see the dilemma of intimacy - all intimacy makes you vulnerable.
Therefore, God’s design is for there to be some protection around being intimate. When two people are sexually intimate, it involves body, soul, and spirit. God’s design is that we live from our spirit; and that the life of our spirit flows from soul and body, and touches other people - that’s God’s design. Now, the world reduces sexual relationship to something quite physical. From God’s point of view, it starts from the inside and goes out - heart to heart connection, sharing your life; and then physical. The world turns it around, and places the emphasis on the physical; and neglects to tell you of the potential damage that could be caused to your soul and your spirit.
For a person to have a physical sexual relationship, but no intimacy, no opening their heart in love to another person, just totally reduces that physical act to something no more than a physical act. So, intimacy without a commitment opens the door for injury - intimacy without commitment and trust. It makes sense: you just don’t get intimate with every person, because you become vulnerable to that person.