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Renewal of the Mind (4 of 4)

Mike Connell

Page 4 of 10
Now of course the thing is if there is emotion with that experience then that path becomes quite deep and it becomes quite set into your mind. Then there's the next thing. The third thing is - so first of all we have the impression that's made by an experience we have. Then if we repeat the experience it begins to set into our mind, and then the third thing is association. Now that's the important one now, because what happens is we begin to - things aren't just in isolation. They are connected. One thing is connected with another, so associated means one thing connects with another. Now what happens is that one thing in your mind is connected to another, so one can trigger off the other and you'll see how this works. I'll explain it exactly in a moment. Now what is recorded in your mind in a memory is this: in the memory is recorded the experience you had, but the thing that's mainly recorded is not just the event itself but the emotions you felt as you experienced it.

They are recorded and remember, if it's a strong emotion it's a strong impact in your mind. Also recorded in there is your reaction, so if you had something happen to you and then you felt fear and you leapt and reacted in fear, that is recorded. Getting the idea? And then the fourth thing that's recorded in there is what you believed, or how you perceived this thing that happened to you. Okay, got it? The experience, the feeling that was there, how you reacted, and then what you believed about it, how you interpreted it. So for example, a young child is growing up and the family breaks up, and so for a long period of time he feels conflict between mum and dad. He may not understand what it is all about but in his emotions he's deeply affected, and so he remembers. What does he remember? He remembers conflict. He remembers pain, and he believes this is unsafe, I've got to do something. And maybe he chooses to hide.

Now all of that's built in; then the parents leave and now suddenly, traumatically, the father's gone and so he believes as a result of that trauma, then he believes in his heart a couple of things. One, conflict is really bad. It's unsafe; two, people will leave you and you're on your own, and maybe other kinds of things as well. Now you understand, so that's wired into the heart. Now what do we try and do? Well we try and control it all and bury it all, and we try and push it all under. And what we do is something called like this: move on with my life. The dilemma is when you try to move on with your life you have an imprint, a record in your memory of the event, of the emotion, of the reaction you made and of what you came to believe about that situation.

Now it's still all stuck in there. Now anything that reminds you or is associated in any way with that will trigger up the emotions, so for example you may just be in a situation and then there's a little bit of a conflict takes place and immediately an overwhelming fear is there. Why is the overwhelming fear there? It's only a little conflict - but you understand that you're not reading a little conflict. Your mind is remember and associating, this is dangerous, this is my world is going to fall apart. They're going to leave me, this is what's going to happen to me, and a huge reaction takes place. Many people for example react in anger and they don't even know - their anger just is a whoosh! It's just burst out. Now why did it suddenly burst out? Some of you who are married, you'll have situations that you're trying to cover up or trying to deal with, trying to work with and what'll happen is a little thing will be said and suddenly there's this huge emotional reaction; grief or tears or anger or fear, or a reaction of some kind.