God never uses His power to get His way in our life, His loving-kindness attracts us to follow Him (Jeremiah 31:3). What does this look like in marriage? This very practical session unpacks 5 principles that will empower your leadership in marriage: Principle of Headship, Principle of Bonding, Principle of Partnership, Principle of Honour, Principle of Loving-kindness.
We spoke about leadership, about headship, and what we did was stir up a heap of stuff in both men and women. Women, it's okay, it'll all settle down after a while. We've only just given part of the picture. Today I want to talk about the man's leadership. This is the last thing we'll do related to the man, the man's leadership and I've called this message Loving Leadership. We want to just pick up this macho man, aggressive man, dominant man thing today, and really show a man how you can lead your wife in such a way that she will love to follow you. It'll probably be different. I want to share with you today five principles, that will empower your leadership in your marriage. The ways they're outworked vary from person to person, but as you take the principles and begin to effectively work with them, then you'll find your marriage will change.
Not only that, these five principles will give any single women something to look at, in terms of when you're looking for a prospective man; if some of these things aren't there, you've got a problem coming up, big time. Okay, so we'll both get something out of it. So I want to first of all look in Jeremiah 31:3. We need to understand that when God says that there's an order in the family, the purpose He has is to bless us and protect us, so we'll be benefited from that order; so when God says that the man is the head of the woman, He's not saying he's more important, or that he's always right. He's just saying: there's an order to get the function in the family working right. One of the things you understand about God, God never uses His power to get His way in our life. God always influences us through His love. Never ever did Jesus use His power to dominate, control or direct people; He always used His love to influence them. So we spoke of headship, we're going to describe it and touch in on it briefly, but let me just read this in verses here, because you need to get the heart of God, if you're going to be an effective leader in the home.
The Lord has appeared to me of old, saying I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving kindness have I drawn you. Again I will build you, and you shall be built up, O virgin of Israel. You shall be adorned, and you shall go forth with the dances of them that make merry. Now does that sound as though God's going to do some good things to His people? It says the result of His leadership of them, is they will dance and they'll be happy, so when we want to see the effect of God's work in a person's life - happy! Joyful! Dancing! So think about that. Husband, your wife is your glory, so if she's happy and smiling and dancing, you're doing a fantastic job; but if she's sad and depressed and gloomy and withdrawn, you really need to step up. Okay then, so let's have a look, and we're going to go through this verse, and I'll give you these principles. Are you ready? Okay, it says: I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving kindness have I drawn you. That word 'loving kindness' means this, I'm going to explain it a little. It means literally: for someone who's in an elevated position, to stoop down, and bend down, to someone in a lower position, and lift them up, and treat them like an equal. How about that?
It means literally: to bend over, and lift someone up, so you treat them like an equal; so God says: I have loved you with an everlasting love, with loving kindness have I attracted you, or drawn you; so in other words, He says: I don't display My power, and My greatness, and My might, but I reach down, and I place such value on you, that I lift you up and I look into your eyes, I treat you like an equal. Now we're not actually equals, but His heart is to lift us up, as someone of great value to Him. Then He says: with loving kindness I have drawn you; or literally: I have drawn you along, I have handled you, I have touched you, or I've opened up your life - so how does God open up our life? How does God lead us or draw us or attract us? Oh, it's not with His power. His power gets our attention, but it is His loving kindness that attracts us to follow Him. It's the demonstration of God's loving kindness that draws us out of ourself, and we are attracted to it like a magnet, like bees to honey. We are drawn to the loving kindness of God.