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Loving Leadership (5 of 5)

Mike Connell

Okay, here it is. Likewise you husbands, dwell with them, according to knowledge. In other words, learn how to understand your wife, a lifelong calling, understanding your wife [laughs], giving honour unto your wife, as to the weaker vessel, lest your prayers be hindered. So it says: give honour - here's the principle: honour your wife! Otherwise your prayers will be shot down. There you are, praying for your business to succeed, God shoots them down. God watches - no, he's not honouring his wife. Boof! Those prayers, I don't even listen to. You're praying for your business, your money to come right, and God looks how you're treating your wife. He says: forget it. You're praying for wisdom and direction, and you're wanting God to help you in your life, He looks how you treat your wife - ah forget it. In other words - now that gives wives a great confidence, because what you know is this, that you can trust that God will sort this guy out big time. When God gets on his case, He can really, really get this thing sorted out. So the Bible says: husbands, honour your wife. Now to honour means to prize, to value, or to invest value in a person, so they have great honour and great value.

Now I read an interesting story about a man up in the Solomon Islands, and in the Solomon Islands, they pay a dowry for the women. This particular woman he wanted to marry, and she wasn't very a very attractive woman, and they used to pay a dowry of one cow or cattle beast if a woman's pretty. That's what they do, still do that sort of thing up there. If there was three, the woman was really I mean quite something, and this woman was not all that attractive, and people never thought: she'd get married. This man wanted to marry her, and so he considered how he could get over the reproach that everyone would have: oh you've married this woman, and she's not very nice. So this is what he did. He got 10 or 12 cattle beasts, and he paid them for the dowry, and everyone went [inhales sharply] wow, even the best we've ever heard of is three. Twelve! Oh. They looked with great respect now - she hadn't changed one bit, but he had invested value in her. He'd honoured her. He'd put honour on her life, and so honour is something you choose to do, you choose to value.

Now let me give you a few things you can do, to honour a woman. Now women, if you're looking for a good man, you want one who'll treat women right. So here you are, first one: treat them with respect. Respect means they listen to their thinking, and listen to their opinions, listen to their feelings. They include them in the decisions. How do men make decisions without including their wife? That's very dishonouring to her, treats her as having nothing of value to contribute. You make her feel special, give her a rose, give her a flower, honour her. Find ways to treat her, so she feels special. Give her a single red rose, I love you. Little notes, I love you. Isn't that wonderful? Those things - I've still got in here a lovely note that my wife wrote to me. I keep it in my Bible, because it means a lot to me. I've got draws full of notes from the kids, they're special - so treat her with respect.

Manners - now here's a good one, manners. Now one way you can honour a woman, is by having manners. Manners means, you open the door [Applause]. That shows the general state, if you open the door, open the door to let her in. Open the car door, and let her in. You pull the seat out for her to sit down. It seems too good to be true, doesn't it? They used to do it a few years ago. It's just this culture has taken it all away. Wouldn't it be good if we had a generation of men, who honoured their wife, and treated them like they were the Queen - honoured, valued, esteemed, did things like that. Women, would you like that? Would you find a man like that hard to follow? [No] It wouldn't be hard to follow would it? [No!] Is there one there, that's what we want to know? Is there one such as that? Is there such a man? Well you choose to be that kind of man, you just make decisions, you'll start to honour women, value them. You'll have manners, you'll give eye contact, hold their hands. One way is, you don't walk ahead of them - that's what I've got to watch, that one. Hold their hand, and walk together.