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Loving Leadership (5 of 5)

Mike Connell

Okay, now let me just give you five principles, that will help a man to lead his wife, to lead in his home. Two of them we've covered already in some detail, so I'll just touch them briefly, and I'll bring up the other three; but the first one is - and these are principles, so there's lots of ways you outwork a principle. A principle is just like a guideline, and within that guideline, you figure out what that involves, and how you outwork it, and you've got to work that out very personally. So the Bible gives us the principles, but it doesn't give us the outworking, because it has to be outworked in each culture. So God's principles never change, it doesn't matter where you are, they're the same principles.

Okay, now here's the first one, principle of headship, 1 Corinthians 11:3. I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God. In other words, there is an order that God has set, in creation, a governmental order, where God is at the top, Christ is subject to Him, the man is subject to Christ, and the woman is subject to the man. It's a divine order, for blessing and protection. Now who was the most exalted man, in the whole of the world? There is no man been exalted more than this man. Who is that man? Who exalted Him into that place? [God.] And how did He get exalted like that, into that place? He submitted. In other words, He took His place in order. The Father planned how He could exalt the Son, and the Son submitted to the Father's plan, and now the Bible says: every knee shall bow, every tongue confess, that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. The wisdom of God's plan, is that submission is not a problem, it's God's pathway to elevation; and when Jesus submitted to the Father's plan, it resulted in being elevated to the highest place possible. It's no wonder the Bible tells us: men, use Jesus as your example. He submitted to God's plan.

So when we're talking headship, the first thing the Bible tells us is, there's an order that God has set in place. It's for our blessing, and for our benefit. Now Jesus, His plan, is that He will lift up His people, into the highest place. He has the same kind of plan, so it says: now the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is the man. Most men can't get past that bit. Let me get you the first thing about headship. The first thing about headship, is that God wants every man to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. He wants every man to recognise, he can't make it in life on his own. There are areas and dimensions he's incapable of fulfilling and achieving, without a relationship with Jesus Christ; so the first aspect of headship to understand, is that man must open his life to Jesus Christ. He must be born again. He must receive Jesus Christ into his heart and life, and trust Him, and begin to surrender his life to Him; because whatever you have, whatever you've done, all of it you'll leave behind, but all you'll have in eternity, is what you've built in a relationship with God. So the number one part of headship, for a man, is: do I have a relationship with God? Do I talk to Him, read the Bible, and listen to Him for directions, and submit by plans to Him for guidance?

It's very easy for a woman to follow a man who prays and listens to God, but it's a very scary thing for her to follow some egocentric man, who thinks he can make it through life without needing God, and he will make his own life - I'm my own man, and I'll do it myself. Don't worry, I have it all under control. You know that it's only a matter of time before there's a major problem; but when a woman hears her man kneel and bow before God, and says: Father, help me to love my wife, to love my children, and to lead my home - that inspires confidence. It inspires women to follow. The second aspect of headship, is leadership. To be the head of the home, or to be the head of the woman, you must assume responsibility to lead. Headship is about assuming the responsibility to lead. Now what does that mean? It means taking initiative, taking the initiative. Don't wait for your wife to do everything. Have a look around and take the initiative. It means listening to her, finding out her needs and concerns. How can you lead someone, if you don't know what their needs are? You've all got so quiet. Turn to someone and say: I think this is speaking to me right now. [Laughter] Before you get all - everyone gets very, very quiet and serious. [Laughs]