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Fantasy, an addictive drug (2 of 4)

Mike Connell

Page 3 of 10
So fantasy is an illusion formed in your mind. It's an illusion. It's not real. Fantasy - not real. I'll give you another definition. I've got to get clear on this. It's an imagined event or sequence of events that you create in your mind to fulfil some desire or longing. It's an event or a sequence of events which you create in your mind to fulfil some desire or longing, so inevitably if we examine our fantasies we'll also see what's going on in our heart. That's a realm of the imagination. A fantasy is where you use your imagination to create something happening that is absolutely unreal, but here's the thing that's common with all fantasies. You are the centre. It's all about me. There's more to it than that though. It's not only about you and you're the centre of it; you are God in that world, untouchable. You are in total control of that fantasy world. You create something where you cannot be defeated. You're in charge, you're in control, you're in power [laughs] so in the fantasy world you're able to be in control and have power.

You can shape those imaginations the way you want them to go, so if you have a look at what you fantasise about you'll begin to find out what's really going on inside you - not always that nice. However if it is there better to change it aye? So usually there's a desire that a person has that fuels the fantasy. We'll look at a couple of fantasies shortly, fantasies aah! Okay and then I'm going to show you how it accesses your life and can affect you. Many times people in their fantasy are looking for recognition, because you notice in your fantasy probably you're quite important. [Laughter] I won! [Laughs] And they're all clapping me! Oh come on, you all fantasise something where we're the hero and we won, or it's for control and power so you may revisit thoughts and now you are in total control of that situation. It may be that it's for revenge. Some people's fantasies are about revenge. They think and dream about how they're going to get back, how they'll suffer, oh. [Unclear 00.11.42] before you know it you're way down there - oh! Come back! Follow the daydream back, it was a daydream of revenge, some people plotting revenge.

For some it may be in the area of sexual intimacy, and so the daydreams go out there and they're about being intimate or about being sexual and they go way, way out there. Whoops! Come back! Gone too far. That's what happens. You're all getting quiet now because I know you have them. [Laughs] Well I've had them. I don't think there's any other man that hasn't them - and then some of the fantasies are about being safe, where a person's felt abused and then they go into a world so they can control that imaginary world and feel safe in there. So therefore it can be a place of refuge. If you're brought up in a home which is emotionally unsafe or physically unsafe, then fantasy was where you go because in that world you're safe, a wonderful world to be in, a lovely world to be in, so that's fantasy. Daydreaming is a bit like fantasy. Daydreaming is really a fantasy that - it's a dream-like fantasy you have while you're wide awake and away you go, and you just enter into this dream-like state. You become unaware what's going on around you.

Notice when someone's daydreaming they're aren't aware what's going on around them? You can even have a daydream while you're driving down the road. Da-da-da-da away you go - you've gone somewhere. Wives, you notice your husband while you're talking to him sometimes he's away? He's not there, he's gone away, he's in a dream, gone somewhere else. So fantasies do take you somewhere. Everyone has them. So everyone has them and they're not necessarily all bad but they can end up really destructive and really bringing your life into bondage, so [unclear 00.13.20] people and men and women's fantasies are a bit different. So you know, I used to love cowboy movies. I used to love them, used to think about them. I was away out there. I used to love books, used to read all the Enid Blyton books in those days and go way into a magical world. Go down the library - I was always in the library, I was away. In fact I don't even remember most of growing up. As a young person I was away. I wasn't there for most of it, I was away somewhere - fantasy. Daydreaming. Trying to escape from pain. That's what happens.