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As You Love Yourself (4 of 6)

Mike Connell

You have to have the word of God to be able to do that see, so now I want you to have a look at this in Romans, Chapter 12 and Verse 3. The Bible tells us the way we're to think about ourselves. This is good. You'll probably think of someone this applies to. Here it is - it won't be you of course, but you'll know someone here I'm sure. The moment I read this verse you'll think I know someone like that. Verse 3, I say through the grace given to me, to every who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to everyone a measure of faith. Okay, let's go there. Notice the words there are 'to everyone.' Now is everyone here included, or are you excluded on that one, see? Because it says here I'm saying, through the grace given to me, to everyone among you. This is for everyone, and here's what He's saying. One is a don't do, and the other is a do do, okay, so the don't is don't think of himself more highly than he ought. How about that. In other words, to overly be opinionated about who you are, to have a picture of yourself that's way out of touch with reality, all puffed up, a lot of wind and not much substance. Don't be puffed up in your mind thinking about yourself, so in other words, having wrong value. Now you see you've got to think well, what do you really think about yourself?

What do you think about yourself? See, usually the thoughts go into one or two extremes, neither of which agree with the word of God, so you can call them both humility although they - both of them equal pride, even though they look different. So you know one form of pride, and that's the superiority, arrogance, better than thou, and when you're with someone who's got that arrogant pride sort of thing, actually what you know is they don't feel loved, they're trying to huff and puff up a bit, trying to impress everyone. When you're around someone like, that they look like they're very big, and you feel like you're very small. They may puff up over their money, or puff up over business, puff over all kinds of things, or ministry, it doesn't really matter what it is. It's all a smokescreen for a very small person, but they puff up, because they're projecting out, I'm very important. Well see, if you're accepted in the eyes of the Lord, you don't have to prove to anyone you're important.

Why are you going to all that effort to let everyone know how important you are? It must mean you don't believe you're important, and you need them to say oh, you're important. Thank you, it's what I needed. Why? Because it wasn't internal. That's the problem you see, so that's one form of pride. Of course people like, that are preoccupied with themselves, it's all about me. Not only that, they're insensitive to others, and they tend to invade and go in over everyone's boundaries and injure them, so you can't think like that and have good relationships, because you've got a trail of destroyed people behind you, or dependent people, who think you're wonderful. That's what happens. Okay and the other side of course is - which is a very common one in New Zealand - is the issue of inferiority, which is exactly the reverse. But inferiority is, I believe I'm inferior to everyone, and if I believe I'm inferior to others, so as I stand beside you, and I look at what's very good in you, and you're so good at this, and I feel so bad at that; now what is my reference point for my value? Is it inside me, or outside me? It's outside me.

I've compared myself unfavourably with you, so people either compare themselves and puff themselves up, or compare themselves, and don't need other people, or they compare themselves, and judge themselves. Usually if we compare we take the strongest thing in them, and match it with the weakest thing in us, and we come out bad. Oh, I'm not much good. Now you see, now you understand, this is not humility. This is actually pride, because it's still got you preoccupied with yourself, and you can't form good relationships like that if you have low esteem. You actually have to agree with what God says, so what people like that are like is, they neglect themselves. Some of them even despise themselves. Some people even hate themselves.