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Mike Connell

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You know for boys, now boys have got a different problem. Boy's problem is pornography, and now you turn on pornography; what have you got in pornography? What you've got is women that are unreal, they don't really exist. They're hired and paid to do something to create a fantasy, so some guy will get all aroused and excited. That's what pornography is. It's an illusion. Ain't no one that's like that. It just isn't true. It's a fantasy with a hook, to get you caught into and become addicted into the images and pictures, until you live in an unreal fantasy world, and can't for real relationships. Pornography's incredibly destructive to young men, and pornography is to men, what this is to women. This is emotional pornography. That's exactly what it is, because you get caught into a fantasy. It appeals to women's emotional needs, so you get caught into fantasy.

Oh they think about it, dream about it, have pictures up. It's an absolute disaster really see, so emotional dependency is another way of saying: you are the one who'll meet my needs in life. This is called relational idolatry. There is no person. Girls, there's no man can meet your needs. You need to know it now. You need to let Christ meet your needs, become a whole person, and come into relationship with something to give. You can't run any relationship, hoping some guy will make you feel good about yourself, and feel loved. He's not responsible for your feelings, and there's no guy like Edward. He's not a real guy. He's a fantasy. Real guys aren't like that. Real guys aren't like that at all, I'm sorry! [Laughter] They're just not - so what you're doing is, as you get into that, you get caught up into an image, and it begins to be addictive. That's why you notice you can't stop reading the book. Mum tells you to go to bed, light's on, I'm going to read, read, read, I've got to read. What's happening? Something's going on inside you. You're hooked and addicted.

So people get addicted to it, so emotional dependency is a form of idolatry, you give yourself to another person, hoping they'll meet your need. So here's another aspect of it. So first of all, it's just weird the way he carries on. Secondly, there's relational co-dependency and idolatry. Here's the third thing. He could kill her at any moment, and so the tension in this thing is, he's a vampire after her blood, and he's trying to restrain himself, so she never knows whether he's going to love her, or bite her to death. Huh? Now let me tell you this. I've counselled and Lyn counselled heaps of people, where the man - you never know, one minute to the next, whether he's in a good mood, or angry and aggressive and violent move. You never want to be in a relationship with anyone like that, who is moody and unpredictable, and you never know when this thing is going to go off. This is totally dysfunctional. You need to see it. People who enter a relationship - and Jacob, well he's no better. He's the werewolf, he's just as likely to bite her and devour her too, and turn her into a werewolf.

So she's on tenterhooks all the time around both guys, making sure she doesn't upset them. Girls, that is no way to have a relationship. You've got to be secure in yourself, you've got to have a secure guy, and you've got to work out the fact that in that relationship there's going to be stuff to work out. This is total fantasy. It's just unreal. [Laughs] It's just unreal. Now the thing is it's supposed to be pro-abstinence, but get this. Edward, now he's the main character, this is what he said. He said the book is based on the virtue of chastity, but it seems to have the opposite effect on the readers. I have eight year old girls come up to me and say bite me, I want you to bite me. Girls, there's a feeding frenzy on this guy. The Bible says - 2 Timothy 2:22 - flee youthful lusts. Run away from things that stir up passions you can't control.

Fantasy creates unrealistic expectations. Real life, it just don't work like that, so here's the problem with the bottom line. The bottom line, it portrays evil as good, and good as evil, and it leads to you being engaged in the occult, and having images of relationships which are totally dysfunctional, and yet you think they're ideal; I wish I had someone just like him. No way do you want anyone just like him! You'll be in for counselling before you know it, and be crying on the altar there; oh, it's terrible, I don't know what to do, he's at me all the time. It's just not going to work. Real relationships don't work like that. Real relationships, you are whole and strengthened, and founded in Christ. You're secure in who you are. You have something to put into relationships, you have strong boundaries, and you also have friends beyond the relationship. You also know how to honour your parents. A strong relationship, the guy needs to be strong in himself, have his own connection with God, his own self, be able to stand up for himself. He's not going to meet all your needs, you're not going to meet all his needs. Together, you add something in that builds a strong relationship. You have problems, you work them out on the way. That's real life. This is real life.